Psychologist Abraham Maslow introduced the idea that there are five needs everyone tries to fulfill over a lifetime. They are known as Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. The first two needs are people’s most basic needs…the need for survival: 1) Physiological (i.e., breath, food, water, sleep) 2) Safety (i.e., security, shelter, employment). The next two are…
GeneralBlog
Use cautious in a sentence
Please be careful, be safe. These words have become our default farewell, replacing have a nice day. How does being careful differ from being cautious? It’s a familiar question in my line of work. The difference between cautious and careful in my opinion is that cautious is an emotion, a fear based emotion mostly. Being…
Generalpresentationsstrategies for self-careThe Neuropsychology of Self Compassion: thoughts for 2021.
A growing body of research suggests that self-compassion is strongly associated with psychological health. One of the most consistent findings in the literature is that greater self-compassion is linked to less anxiety and depression (Neff, 2003; Pauley & McPherson, 2010). There are physiological reasons underlying this association. Neuropsychological research has found that individuals trained therapeutically…
strategies for self-careHow to reset
“Add something new to the mix.” If you’ve ever been in my office, you’ve heard me say this.  It takes approximately 60 days to start to lay down new neural pathways, which come from consistent practice of a new behavior. Growth involves changing behaviors—and in order to change a behavior, you have to change…
Generalstrategies for self-careThe psychology of negative people
You walk into the restaurant, dressed to the nines, for a girls’ night out. Your friends greet you warmly, except for one. She points at your sleeve: “You look like you put your arm down in something. You have a big stain.“ In my work, I often hear about negative people in the lives of…
Generalstrategies for self-care8 Tips for Dealing Calmly with Criticism
In ancient Greek mythology, the goddess of wisdom, Athena, was criticized and trespassed upon by the beautiful nymph, Medusa. Athena was full of rage at her words and actions, and turned Medusa into a Gorgon, with tresses made of snakes. Anyone who looked at her was turned to stone.  Many people have a hard…
GeneralFamilies and Holidays – How to Navigate.
While holidays and family get togethers, virtual or in real life, can be very joyful, may have treasured rituals and traditions, and bring people together from their busy lives, they can also be pitfalls for potential hurt. Have realistic expectations As refreshing as it would be if your father didn’t criticize your outfit this year,…
Generalstrategies for self-careThe Tenderness Ritual
Anxiety, both chronic and acute, is one of the biggest concerns I address in my practice. One of the most frequent questions I receive from clients is how to relax and self-soothe between sessions. I have written several articles for my blog and other sources about strategies I have developed or refined, including the #RelaxationKit,…
Generalstrategies for self-careThe Psychology of Nostalgia
On holidays, it’s natural to feel a longing for times gone by. Psychologists at the University of Southampton in England, in a large study, found that nostalgia boosted feelings of happiness, decreased loneliness, and enhanced feelings of self-continuity by increasing a sense of social connectedness. Sentimental recollections by study participants generally included loveds ones, which…
Generalstrategies for self-careHome alone, or a socially distanced holiday that is meaningful
Loneliness can peak over the holidays, and especially so if you are feeling isolated from friends and family. But there ARE some things that you can do that help create a time that feels personally significant.  Planning Even if you have no plans, make a plan. Waking up to a feeling that there is…
Covid-19 CrisisGeneralstrategies for self-care