Category Archives: parenting

On talking to the kiddos and executive functioning

It’s hard for many people to put the coronavirus global crisis into perspective. It’s even harder to explain it to children. But understanding the big picture can often help us make sense of what’s happening around us.

Some kids—and adults—have a hard time seeing the bigger context in situations. (It’s common with kids who have trouble with executive function.) That’s not necessarily a bad thing, especially for kids who get more nervous the more they hear and know.

But for other kids, not understanding what’s going on makes it harder for them to cope. It raises their anxiety level because they don’t always recognize that people are doing things to reduce the threat. 

To help them get a broader idea of what’s happening and be less anxious, start with what they know, says Ellen Braaten, PhD, director of the Learning and Emotional Assessment Program (LEAP) and co-director of the Clay Center for Young Healthy Minds at Massachusetts General Hospital.

“Correct their misconceptions and then help them organize their thinking on the topic,” Braaten says. “Emotions tend to ‘de-organize thoughts,’ so you need to keep things real.

“You could say things like: ‘Scientists predict that this kind of virus can spread quickly. But it can’t spread as much when people stay apart for a while. That’s why you’ll be home from school for a while,’” she says.

It’s important to talk about what you’ll do during the time off. Share how you’ll continue to do things to stay healthy, like washing hands and getting enough sleep. Explain that doctors, nurses, and other health care workers are working very hard to understand how to help people, and they’re doing a good job at it. Emphasize the importance of having a routine.

“To do this, you need to be informed yourself,” says Braaten. “You also need to be able to discuss this in a fairly non-emotional way.”

(Stats from the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) and the American Academy of Pediatrics).

Parenting and homeschooling, during COVID-19

It’s been a frequent question, how to handle the current situation with regard to kids. In Washington DC, the school systems are closed for at least a month, and I’m thinking longer. This is what I’m telling my patients and families:

1. Establish a routine. This needs to include online schoolwork, chores, exercise, scheduled not random downtime with a preferred activity, and very regular bedtimes and morning routines. You do not get to sleep till 11.

2. This is not a snow day. We can’t live on Doritos, ice cream, and junk food. I am asking all kids nine and above, to help plan and prepare a meal at least once a week for the entire family. This can actually be fun. We all need to cook.

3. Developmentally appropriate information needs to be discussed. From social media to television, we hear bits and pieces that can be very scary. No kid needs to be terrified.

4. Get some outdoor time. It’s spring, and it’s beautiful. Just because we can’t interact, touch or hug, doesn’t mean we don’t get to embrace the sun.

5. Find one cool new hobby or interest to explore. You’ve never had time like this to do that.

6. Don’t forget to check on others. Lack of social contact is one thing, but we have neighbors, relatives, elders, who need our support.

6. Last time, probably most importantly, give each other space. We are used to being at school, the office, sports, activities. Now we are stuck with each other. Annoyance happens.
Find some alone time, for each family member.

Embolden Psychology
Embolden

Embolden offers the ADOS-2, the gold standard assessment for kids on the spectrum.

Combined with psychoeducational testing, it helps provide comprehensive information and recommendations to help children and teens six and up.

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