Social media helps us feel less alone. When you click like on somebody’s post, it’s a tacit agreement that you are not alone. You are with somebody else and their statement of being in the world. The main distinguisher: Being alone is a physical description (meaning when we are alone, we are just not with people), while loneliness is a feeling that often is experienced as negative and painful, and can occur in a crowd.
For many of us, aloneness is a negative state of being. Society doesn’t help us with this notion either; being alone often carries a social stigma, implying isolation, being on the outside. This perceived sense of aloneness seems to imply that being by one’s self is not volitional, or a choice we make, but rather an imposed state where a person is not socially engaged in the way that is somehow expected. Even further, it may imply that there is something actually wrong or defective with a person who remains alone.
How to be alone and be mentally sound
Spending time alone with yourself increases productivity
How quickly do you get a job done when you have family and friends chatting away? Your goal may be to complete things around the house, run errands, finish a school assignment, or meet a deadline for work. Even a ping from your phone when a chat or mail comes in can make you lose concentration on a task. The brain is naturally programmed to be more productive when there are little to no distractions. So, if you desire to be more productive, spend time alone.
Deepen your relationships
The strength of your relationships can speak bounds to how secure you feel when spending time alone. A lack of depth and connection can make you feel less heard, understood, appreciated or secure. The quality of your connections goes well above the quantity.
Stop tolerating unhappy relationships
It is a cruel fact of life that people are so scared of loneliness that they often opt into a relationship with the wrong person. There is enormous pressure from peers, family and society in general to get married or coupled. When this happens, people start making wrong decisions, getting involved with unsuitable partners because of the fear of being alone or lonesome; accepting inappropriate behavior just because of loneliness; seeking a temporary fix.
Spend some time with nature
There’s nothing quite as soothing as bonding with nature. You can simply spend time in a garden, where you can watch the flowers bloom with your favorite book in hand. Or you can listen to the chirping of the birds, lie under the skies, spend cuddle time with your companion animals, nurture indoor plants,￼ and watch the shapes of the clouds and the brightness of the stars, and fall in love with yourself all over again.
Ease into the pleasure of relaxation
The moment you go for a massage, treat yourself to a bubble bath with wine in hand, order your favorite meal,￼ or stay home to watch Netflix with home made popcorn. These are pleasures that are you, with you. Date nights with yourself have to be prioritized every week.
Step out alone
Perhaps you thought that to learn to be alone means camping at home and shutting the world out. However, that’s not the case. You can indeed have beautiful time with yourself by going out to town to do activities like reading outdoors, grabbing a coffee, having an appetizer and drink at a bar, ￼and going to the seaside where you can feel the wind on your face, watch the sea waves come and go, or just gather your thoughts.
Adulting does not stop you from playing your favorite song at home and dancing to it in your underwear, joking with friends and family, lor bingeing on your favorite ice-cream or meal. Nothing stops you from doing crazy activities like sky diving, traveling alone, we’re talking to people you don’t know – ￼that will send some adrenaline shooting through your body.
Carve out ‘You’ Time
Experiment by setting a timer for 5 minutes. That is all.
Five minutes with no:
Fifty minutes or more a week spent in nature can improve symptoms of depression and lower blood pressure.
Reducing sources of daily conflict or arguments will help you feel less alone. Your peace of mind is more important than winning a point, on social media, or IRL.