On friendship pain

Sometimes it can be hard to tell if a friend’s taking advantage of you, or if you are just being overly sensitive. However, there are some infallible signs to be on the lookout for that will give you answers.

Here are 8 signs that you’re being taken advantage of in a friendship.

1. They don’t listen to you, but always expect you to listen to them.
If your friend expects you to listen to them vent for 20 minutes straight, then they should let you vent to them, too. If you always provide a shoulder to cry on, but they dismiss you or don’t give you their full attention when you have a problem or are feeling down, that’s not a true friendship.

2. They only want to hang out when it’s convenient for them.
If they want your entire schedule to revolve around their appointments or commitments, something is wrong. When making plans in healthy friendships, you should both discuss your schedules and compromise to figure out what dates, activities, and times work best.

3. They’re constantly asking you to do favors for them.
If your friend is sending you out on errands as if you’re suddenly their Personal Assistant, it’s time to reassess the relationship. Sure, friends with healthy relationships will do favors for one another, but if it’s one sided and the person is constantly asking you to go out of your way for them, they’re taking advantage of you.

4. They only reach out when they need help.
This is one of the surefire easiest ways to spot whether someone is taking advantage of you. Does it seem like your friend only hits you up when they need something? It may feel like they’re always needing your help, whether it’s borrowing money, career advice, or “brain picking” with nothing to offer in return, or a place to crash when they’re in town (but they never talk to you regularly throughout the year).

5. They are always making you pay for things.
It’s pretty common for a friend to offer to foot the bill once in a while, and it’s expected that the other friend will get the bill the next time, right? If you notice your friend is conveniently always “missing” when the check comes, they never offer to pay for anything, they’re just taking your money, and it’s definitely time to have a serious talk with them.

6. They’re using you to get ahead.
The sad truth is that a lot of people will use others just to get ahead in life, whether that means to gain popularity in a certain social circle or in a work environment. You don’t have to be rich and famous for people to try to use you and your friendship to their advantage. Manipulative people will keep “friends” just so they can step on you to climb on up to the top.

7. They don’t show interest in your personal life.
Friends care about their friends. Think about it — you want to know how your friends are doing, right? You care about your friends’ well being, how they’re doing, and you’re curious about their daily life. If your friend never asks how you’re doing, doesn’t show interest in your life, and only wants to talk about themselves, you are less than significant.

8. They are not happy for you.
You may have had a major win at work, lost weight, had a great date, or accomplished a personal goal. If they don’t take the time to appreciate your victory, they brush it off or minimize it, or switch the subject to their own life, you do not have a real friend.

Don’t let your “friends” take advantage of you, your kindness, or your time. Your true friends will never want to take too much from you or be manipulative. They genuinely desire your company, through good and bad times. They don’t forget about you when things are going well for them. if you feel like somebody’s taking advantage of you — they are.
Also see Friendships Are Good For Your (Mental and Physical) Health.

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