Tag Archives: lonely

How to feel less alone: 10 Tips

Social media helps us feel less alone. When you click like on somebody’s post, it’s a tacit agreement that you are not alone. You are with somebody else and their statement of being in the world. The main distinguisher: Being alone is a physical description (meaning when we are alone, we are just not with people), while loneliness is a feeling that often is experienced as negative and painful, and can occur in a crowd.

For many of us, aloneness is a negative state of being. Society doesn’t help us with this notion either; being alone often carries a social stigma, implying isolation, being on the outside. This perceived sense of aloneness seems to imply that being by one’s self is not volitional, or a choice we make, but rather an imposed state where a person is not socially engaged in the way that is somehow expected. Even further, it may imply that there is something actually wrong or defective with a person who remains alone.

How to be alone and be mentally sound

Spending time alone with yourself increases productivity
How quickly do you get a job done when you have family and friends chatting away? Your goal may be to complete things around the house, run errands, finish a school assignment, or meet a deadline for work. Even a ping from your phone when a chat or mail comes in can make you lose concentration on a task. The brain is naturally programmed to be more productive when there are little to no distractions. So, if you desire to be more productive, spend time alone.

Deepen your relationships
The strength of your relationships can speak bounds to how secure you feel when spending time alone. A lack of depth and connection can make you feel less heard, understood, appreciated or secure. The quality of your connections goes well above the quantity.

Stop tolerating unhappy relationships
It is a cruel fact of life that people are so scared of loneliness that they often opt into a relationship with the wrong person. There is enormous pressure from peers, family and society in general to get married or coupled. When this happens, people start making wrong decisions, getting involved with unsuitable partners because of the fear of being alone or lonesome; accepting inappropriate behavior just because of loneliness; seeking a temporary fix.

Spend some time with nature
There’s nothing quite as soothing as bonding with nature. You can simply spend time in a garden, where you can watch the flowers bloom with your favorite book in hand. Or you can listen to the chirping of the birds, lie under the skies, spend cuddle time with your companion animals, nurture indoor plants, and watch the shapes of the clouds and the brightness of the stars, and fall in love with yourself all over again.

Ease into the pleasure of relaxation
The moment you go for a massage, treat yourself to a bubble bath with wine in hand, order your favorite meal, or stay home to watch Netflix with home made popcorn. These are pleasures that are you, with you. Date nights with yourself have to be prioritized every week.

Step out alone
Perhaps you thought that to learn to be alone means camping at home and shutting the world out. However, that’s not the case. You can indeed have beautiful time with yourself by going out to town to do activities like reading outdoors, grabbing a coffee, having an appetizer and drink at a bar, and going to the seaside where you can feel the wind on your face, watch the sea waves come and go, or just gather your thoughts.

Be weird
Adulting does not stop you from playing your favorite song at home and dancing to it in your underwear, joking with friends and family, lor bingeing on your favorite ice-cream or meal. Nothing stops you from doing crazy activities like sky diving, traveling alone, we’re talking to people you don’t know – that will send some adrenaline shooting through your body.

Carve out ‘You’ Time
Experiment by setting a timer for 5 minutes. That is all.

Five minutes with no:

Get outdoors
Fifty minutes or more a week spent in nature can improve symptoms of depression and lower blood pressure.

Minimize conflict
Reducing sources of daily conflict or arguments will help you feel less alone. Your peace of mind is more important than winning a point, on social media, or IRL.

13 Ways to Fight Loneliness

A client recently said to me- loneliness is like being underwater while everyone around you is breathing. You can feel lonely by yourself or in a group. Loneliness is usually temporary, but it feels like forever when you are in the middle of it.

Acknowledge how you feel
You’re not alone in feeling alone. Loneliness is a common experience for most people at some time in their lives. The first step in combating loneliness, as in all challenges, is to acknowledge your feelings.

Talk to strangers
A growing body of research suggests that even seemingly trivial interactions with stranger, like chatting with a barista or server, may be able to keep loneliness at bay by helping us feel more socially connected. So reach out to other human beings to say hello, or ask them how they are. These small acts can make a big difference and help you reduce feelings of loneliness.

Join a community of practice
Finding or creating a community of practice is a great way to not only combat loneliness, but also continue to grow professionally and personally. Peer-to-peer learning is so powerful. In Buddhist thought, your Sangha, or like-minded community, helps you stay focused and on track with personal and spiritual goals.

Seek out an accountability partner
One way to manage loneliness is to seek out an accountability partners so that you can meet, talk regularly, share your goals and hold each other accountable for achieving results- personal, professional, or fitness and health. One colleague goes over the wins and losses of the week every Friday with an accountability buddy. Discussing Ws and Ls can be a  powerful connection and motivator.

Volunteer remotely or in real life
Working on an important problem with others can help you decrease loneliness. Volunteering for a cause or activity that is meaningful to you also puts you in touch with others who share your values and interests.

Set aside one hour per week to learn something new
Taking an online course or training often includes a social component of discussion and interaction. Learning something new or obtaining a certification makes us feel like we are part of a like-minded community.

Read a new book
Books are a great companion. You can immerse yourself in whatever format you prefer, digital, audio, or print, and you are transported to something that interests or intrigues you.

Take care of something
Putting energy towards taking care of something will help alleviate feelings of loneliness. Be that a pet or a plant, the responsibility of maintaining life is inspiring and motivating. Companion animals are also great emotional comforters and cuddle buddies.

Get extra hours of sleep
Getting enough sleep is very beneficial to your health, so spend some down time resting.

Take on art projects
Whether you like to paint, sculpt, draw, compose, write, or color, do things that allow you to be creative. Lots of adults tell me they can’t express their creativity at work. Art is a very positive outlet, and finding a craft that you love can lead you to a whole community of others who also enjoys it.

Work on your personal spirituality
Regardless of what religion you practice, alone time is a great opportunity to work on your spirituality. That looks different for everyone. If you don’t practice a religion but want to get in touch with yourself, it’s the perfect time for self-discovery and growth.

Try new recipes
Cooking a nourishing meal or even doing meal prep for the work weekis a healthy way of giving a gift to yourself.

Call your loved ones
Try to call or FaceTime at least one close friend or family member every day, and text others regularly. That sense of daily connection can keep loneliness at bay,  even if you are home by yourself.

For more tips see Eight Tips to Fight Loneliness During Holidays.

Embolden Psychology

Embolden offers the ADOS-2, the gold standard assessment for kids on the spectrum.

Combined with psychoeducational testing, it helps provide comprehensive information and recommendations to help children and teens six and up.

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