For many of us in psychology/mental health, when the phone rings or a text pings late night, there is an immediate frisson of worry and concern. It’s a cold shiver in your spine. Bad news is going down. I work with a lot of young people, teens through 30s, and I am readily accessible most of the time. No one abuses this. When people call you late at night, it’s usually not to say hello.
One of my mentors is a top authority in suicide research in the world. When I asked him, as a doctoral student, why he got into this painful area where he has done so much to help, he said we pursue what we fear. It might seem counterintuitive but there is no greater courage than facing the fears we have by helping others with theirs.
I started my own company several years ago after being Clinical Director elsewhere because I believe that mental health is for all. It is often excluded for many people because of financial constraints, stigma, lack of cultural competence, lack of hours to actually go see someone, and a potentially ‘authoritative’ relationship that is anathema to many.
I will tell you this.
NO doctor or therapist can do anything without their team. The team is: found or biological family or parents, other medical providers, friends and social supports of the person that you are working for and with, chosen spiritual beliefs, community, teachers (as burdened as they are are, they are very often the person that young people turn to), genuine Internet connections, ancestry/culture, companion animals, and fostering self-compassion relentlessly.
We are always so shocked and horrified to hear about someone taking their life. But when most ask people how they’re doing, they expect to hear ‘fine’.
We need to facilitate conversation where somebody can say they feel absolutely lousy. It’s been a terrible day. Right now, people at your job, your neighborhood, your home, feel absolutely lousy. They don’t know what to do. We need dialogue about mental health so it becomes a natural thing.
It takes a village, the most trite and true statement.