Ghosting hurts deeply. It activates a systemic experience of loss that stems from our amygdala, hippocampus, and prefrontal cortex. It’s actually a full brain experience.
Prefrontal cortex (frontal lobes)
* We are left wondering what went wrong, without the benefit of an explanation, the opportunity to ask questions, or clarify the sequence of events. This makes our frontal lobe, the part of our brain that craves meaning and context, ache. Our brains may then do recurrent mental searches trying to make sense of events.
* Ghosting triggers memories of past losses and reinforces the idea￼ that everyone leaves us. Unwanted thoughts and intrusive memories can subsequently be triggered by being ghosted. These memories come from the Hippocampus, the part of the brain that consolidates memory and constantly adds to it. Recent research shows that a reduction of the neurotransmitter GABA in the Hippocampus is also implicated in loss and trauma, and is associated with intrusive thoughts and visual images.
* Ghosting activates our abandonment and rejection wounds. Being ‘left behind’ can set in motion a￼cascade of anxiety symptoms. Anxiety comes from an ancient response to danger and need for ‘survival in the world’. The amygdala is the part of the brain that produces a sense of unsafety and insecurity when we are ghosted.
Depletion of neurotransmitters
* For individuals with a history of loss or trauma, ghosting strengthens ￼the neural pathways that underly beliefs that we are not good enough, worthy enough, or even lovable.￼ These beliefs can lead to a depletion in the ‘happiness’ neurotransmitters￼￼, such as dopamine. In other words, ghosting can trigger major depression.